Mourning etiquette in Edwardian Preston

This is the second instalment from an article by Shirley Smith based on the autobiography of Phoebe Hesketh, What Can the Matter Be? Phoebe Hesketh is today well known for the biography of her famous aunt, the Preston suffragette Edith Rigby but her autobiographical account of life in Edwardian Preston also makes interesting reading.


Phoebe was born into a family of doctors. Her grandfather, father and uncle were all doctors and seem to have treated needy patients for no fee. Her grandfather Alexander Rayner, known locally as Dr Alex, practised in the latter half of the nineteenth century.

These were the days when Preston had only recently been provided with drains and a water supply and as there was no cemetery until 1856 some graves were dug under flags in communal back yards.

Phoebe names one of the poorest local areas at that time as the Weavers Warren, the rudimentary living conditions in the Warren allowed disease to spread easily but no with no way to identify the exact location we can only surmise it must have been close to Dr Alex’s house which was on the corner where Pole Street met Church Street.

Those back-yard burials provide a shocking contrast to those Phoebe would witness through the windows of Ribblesdale place as a five year old.

J. Titterington, Builder, Contractor & Funeral Director. North Road, Preston
An example of an Edwardian funeral procession. This was taken outside the premises of J. Titterington, builder, contractor & funeral director, at 314 North Road, Preston

She recalls the clip-clop of the horse’s hooves heading a funeral cortege along Starkie Street and her delight at seeing four huge shining black horses half covered in purple velvet their heads crowned with purple plumes turning into Ribblesdale Place.

These were followed by black cabs pulled by two horses, the more modest one-horse cabs waiting in Starkie Street while a glass coach arrived at the door opposite her watching place and six figures clothed in black entered the house to carry out the oak and brass coffin.

The five year old Phoebe admits to being more interested in the magnificent horses than the funeral itself but her general powers of observation and memory are remarkable and provide a fascinating glimpse into social norms and customs of the time. For instance she tells us that they were attended by top-hatted men as “women never went to funerals”. Would women have attended the backyard burials?

She tells us how she came to recognise the stages of mourning dress starting with full “invisible black” and reducing to three-quarters where touches of white were allowed and then half when violet and grey were acceptable.

Women were judged on the adherence to this regimen as Phoebe remembers her mother remarking to a friend that Mrs Lawson was down to half “and it’s only six months”. No comparable code for men is mentioned.

Strict rules of etiquette also applied to making calls. Maids had to change apron and cap for 3pm ready to receive callers at the door and first time callers must stay 45 mins exactly.

If a caller was told the mistress was not at home then cards must be left on the silver salver: two small ones for the master and one larger one for the mistress, this custom baffled Phoebe. If the caller was in mourning then the cards would be edged in black.


Coming next: a reluctant Edwardian debutante


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